Saturday, August 15, 2009

I Sold Rachel ....

.... and I didn't mean to. :-(

This summer I sold a bunch of stuff in two different consignment sales. I have always been a pack rat when it comes to my kid's stuff. It seemed to me that if I kept the clothes they wore and the toys they played with, it would somehow make them growing up easier to deal with. Sort of like I'm not completely letting go of the past only to have pictures to look back at. Sounds crazy, I know .... don't know any other way to explain it. Anyway, I went through the bonus room for the first sale and rounded up lots of toys that I wanted to get rid of. Still, as I picked up each item, I could picture Austin or Chandler playing with it. There were a few things that just couldn't make the cut .... they are still here. Maybe next time.

Chandler sometimes gets involved when I'm organizing my things for a consignment sale. She'll suggest a price or comment on how she used to wear an article of clothing or play with a toy. After the first sale, she noticed that a little white wicker doll bed was missing. She inquired, I told her I had sold it. She then asked if I had seen Rachel? You know that sinking feeling you get when you know you've made an irreversible mistake? Your face gets flushed, your stomach gets a knot in it, you break into a sweat. Yikes. I thought to myself, I'm pretty sure I sold Rachel with the doll bed. Chandler no longer plays with dolls, but she does have a few items that she has been partial to keeping over the years. Rachel was one of those items and I just realized I sold her. I wanted to cry, but instead I try to cover.

Me: What did she look like?
Chandler: Mom, you know Rachel. She was about this size (holds her arms like she's cradling a doll). She was really soft. Her eyes close when you lay her down. She doesn't have any hair. And here are some of the outfits that fit her.
Me: Hmmmm. I'm not sure. (In my mind I'm going a thousand miles a minute. Can I call the person who put on the consignment sale and tell her there's been a terrible mistake? I wonder if it would be humanly possible to track down the doll. Oh My Gosh! What am I going to do?)
Chandler: No words. Just looking at me for an answer.
Me: No words. I'm shakin' in my shoes because I'm gonna have to come clean here in a minute, just trying to decide exactly how that's gonna go. Think, think, think. There's must be a solution to this problem.
Chandler: Mom. Do you think you sold her?
Me: No words. Still thinking. Nothing is coming to mind. I think I'm gonna cry. Pull it together.

I finally decide to come clean and I tell her the truth. I tell her I'm pretty sure the doll she is describing is the one I sold with the doll bed. She's not mad, but I can tell is disappointed. Seriously, I went downstairs and cried for a minute. Not because of the doll, but because I disappointed Chandler. I was so mad at me for doing such a dumb thing.

It's been a few weeks since "the incident" and I have been completely forgiven. Isn't unconditional love grand? :-) I hope Rachel has a happy family.