Balance .... Where Did You Go?

I began working at the ripe old age of 18. October 15, 1984 to be exact. And I worked at the same company for over 15 years. From the beginning until March 1986, it was only me to worry about. Not too hard to figure out where I want to go, what I want to eat, not too many clothes to wash, an apartment to keep clean, no lawn to worry with, a few bills to pay, pretty low stress as it were. I was perfectly in balance with me.

Andy and I married in March 1986. From then until 1992, it was again a fairly easy game of balance to play. We were young and care-free. Balancing our daily life: family, church, work, home, and pets was a fairly easy thing to do. We balanced well together.

June 1992. Austin comes along. I went back to work when he was 6 weeks old. September 1996. Chandler comes along. Again, back to work at 6 weeks. With both of these wonderful transitions, I learned there was a little more to balancing life as a working mom and then working mom of two. I should mention that it certainly helps to have a husband who is willing to pull his weight when it comes to housework and caring for our children. I probably wouldn't have had such an easy transition if not for him. ;-)

Fast forward to December 1998. I leave the corporate world to become a stay at home mom. Surprisingly, it took a little bit to find balance in this new phase of life. Once we got there, it's pretty much been smooth sailing for the Bragg family. Here we are today and I feel like balancing life is a challenge again. I'm not even working every day, so what is the problem? Maybe it has something to do with this quote I found: "For many people a job is more than an income – it's an important part of who we are. So a career transition of any sort is one of the most unsettling experiences you can face in your life." ~ Paul Clitheroe

I'm not sure who Paul is, but I think he's on to something here. Maybe what I'm feeling isn't necessarily the loss of balance in my life, but instead unsettled for the moment. Of course, there are are only 15 school days left after today. I'll sub when called upon over the next three weeks and then back to full time stay at home mom for the summer. Oh, I think I see balance just around the bend .....

i'MtheMoM ...

Last week on Monday was my 6th day to sub at the middle school. Thus far, I've subbed for 7th and 8th grades in the subjects of Social Studies and Language Arts. Chandler has escaped the total embarassment of having her mom as her sub. I should mention here that I feel I've made great strides in the realm of subbing at my child's school. Why, you ask? Chandler and a friend actually came to the class I was subbing in the week before. She walked through the door and in my head I hear an angelic choir in unison ... I waited for her to say she was just coming by to say hello and then maybe a hug and my day would be complete ... insert sound of dragging a needle across a (vinyl) record or maybe screeching brakes of a car coming to a stop while traveling at 100 miles an hour - she needed money. Well, I still enjoyed the fact that she came by.

OK, back to my 6th day of subbing. I get a text on the drive to take Chandler to school - they need me to sub in a 6th grade class and I recognize immediately the name as Chandler's science teacher. I get a little nervous as visions of Bill Nye The Science Guy dance in my head, but surely I won't have to perform any experiments! Chandler asks who I'd be subbing for, I tell her, and her slightly delayed response is ... oh, I have her. I then get a quick run down of do's and don'ts. I promise not to embarass her, send her off with all my love, and assure her that this won't be the worst day of her life.

As Chandler and friends arrive to class, I make it a point not to act overly excited to see her. It was sort of funny that we kept slipping each other glances and smiles during class. I couldn't help but stare at her and watch as she worked, but I'd quickly look away when I caught her looking at me. Fast forward to the last period of the day ... as I introduced myself to the class, someone raised their hand and asked ... are you someone's mom? I said yes, Chandler Bragg's. The response? A simple "cool".

The Vent ....

Camping + Rain = me very ill

pic of our little home away from home ~ obviously not taken on this trip

So, we decided to go camping at Fort Yargo for Spring Break since Austin needed to be around for baseball. Fort Yargo is close enough to home that it wouldn't be a huge hassle to drive back and forth for games and practices. Plus, we LOVE to go camping! Can you believe that the last two camping trips we've taken (fall break in October 08 and now spring break April 09) it rained every single day that we were there?! I can handle one day of rain during a camping trip, but the entire trip? Not so much.

We arrived on Tuesday to rain; it stopped and then started again at about 1am on Wednesday morning; rained on and off all day Wednesday; started raining again on Thursday at about 2am and has rained on and off all afternoon again today. Currently (3:56pm 4/2) there is an 80% chance of thunderstorms tonight, which is supposed to be our last night of camping. Yay. And I thought we were in a drought? Maybe I missed a newsflash that we're finished with that?

I know we need the rain and I should be thankful, and I probably will be .... in a few days. I woke up in such a bad mood this morning, but my spirits soon were lifted when Austin sang "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, where? down in my heart" ..... you know the rest of the song. I did manage a smile and then we played spoons for a long time and that too brought a smile to my face.

Not sure why I'm even writing this post. I'm not overly thrilled and don't have anything great to say. I guess I've come up with one more use for this blog .... venting.